the realist burns

Summer Time Goals...

2010-05-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

The List...

Read 3 books... hopefully more
Record one song with me doing vocals
Exercise regularly (bare minimum... push ups and sit ups haha)
Sort out and organize itunes
Make money to pay the bills

More to come???

Life is Interesting

2010-04-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

Life is interesting. No one ever really knows what the future holds and that makes the journey the unique adventure that it is supposed to be. Sometimes there are those instances that happen in life that you never expected to happen. From these events you are often left with a whirlwind of mixed emotions and with more questions then answers. I think we get so consumed with our thoughts of what should happen or how we believe things should be, when in reality our “misfortune” could just be part of a much larger and better picture. This is still a hard concept to grasp because we are stubborn; we know what we want and how things should be according to our own perceptions. This is why it hurts so much when things don’t go how we planned them to, and it is hard to find comfort in the idea that this is supposed to work out better for you in the long run, even though you can’t see the good in the situation yet. Don’t get me wrong it sucks no matter what and those tough times can be some of the longest and most emotionally draining days of all. There have been many nights where I just couldn’t sleep because I was just so consumed by my own thoughts. I would just lay there replaying the same scenarios over and over and over, attempting to solve the puzzle that has become my life, coming to no solutions. You can become so frustrated and down that your entire personality changes; turning you into an emotional light switch where, the smallest things turn a good mood into utter depression at the snap of a finger. In this state of mind you question yourself asking, How did I mess this up? Where did I go wrong? But sometimes these questions that seem valid are very much not the case. Sometimes you just don’t have control over the things that happen in life, you fall victim to the situation. Is this fair? No, but its reality. Lets face it if every little situation went your way and you never had to stumble in life, how would you grow? The problems that are thrown your way are just part of the process of growing up, these challenges, no matter how difficult, help mold and shape you into the person you are supposed to be. The road isn’t easy but no one ever said it would be and you can only play with the cards you are dealt with. Making the best of the worst feels impossible when you feel like you still haven’t hit rock bottom, but healing is possible and will happen in time. Recovery is just another step in the journey and great things wait for you at the end of this dark tunnel, you just have to cast your burdens down to the one who cares about you most. I’m not perfect by any means and I’m still trying to figure out where this life is taking me. I think I have just had to relearn that I am not the one solely in control of my life. Recognizing this fact, it is time to start taking steps forward, even if they are baby ones at first, knowing that I will be ok looking back on everything that has happened.

-the realist

Ever Changing

2010-03-07T15:34:00.000-08:00

Coming home is always bittersweet. As much as I love coming back to be with friends and family it never feels quite the same. Life continues to go on while you are away and you can never really pick up where you left off. I think that is part of the reason being home is filled with mixed emotions of love and hate. In one aspect being away you are missing out on life at home while experiencing your new life, but the reverse also happens when you come home. There is no having both, you can only have one experience. I am at the age where everyone is trying to figure out where they are going and as a result people grow apart and end up going their separate ways. Because of this it makes coming home harder every time, almost as if there is nothing left for me to come back to, making every attempt to relive the past more and more futile. Going away makes you realize who really matters and who your real friends are. This is part of life, but the people that matter most will be the people you never lose.

- the realist

So far...

2010-03-05T16:18:00.000-08:00

It is scary to think that I am now 21 years old and I am basically a “real” adult. Two months of 2010 have already flown by and I already know that what else is in store for this year is going to be an adventure. This year has already brought new challenges and stresses but I know that in the end everything will be all right and work out the way it was supposed to. Like every year before I will continue to grow into the person I am supposed to be, everyday bringing something different to the table, with that a new lesson to be learned and mastered. I am not perfect by any means and I struggle with expressing my emotions and I do not always handle my stress in the best ways, but I am still learning nonetheless. Things don’t always go according to plan and that is all right, I recognize that there is a difference between expectations and reality. There is also the probability that there will be a difference between where I want to be and where I end up. I have made mistakes and regrets but I still wouldn’t change anything. Despite the hard times and the emotional lows the good times and emotional highs make up for them one hundred fold. I do have a purpose. This is my life and I love it.

- the realist

Quick Note...

2010-01-23T02:49:00.000-08:00

I realize that I do not utilize this medium enough. I really am going to try and do a better job at fixing this problem this year. I have a few more ideas in my head and hopefully I get to them sooner then later. Sorry for the delays.

-the realist

2009: A Year in Review

2010-01-23T02:46:00.000-08:00

With saying goodbye to 2009 we close the chapter on the first decade of the new millennium, that in it self is a crazy thought and each and every one of us played a role in it. Looking back, 2009 brought a lot of changes to the world as we know it. We inaugurated the first African American president of the United States, and even though I admit he was not the candidate a voted for I still wish him the best of luck. We are still in the midst of a recession: the housing market is not exactly on the rise, California is cutting everything, unemployment and inflation are at the highest they have been in years, and what is going on with health care bill? Cash for clunkers… that was kind of a bust. Remember the airliner in the Hudson River and the fact that everyone lived? Guantanamo Bay was ordered to shut down and we sent more troops over seas. We are still iphone crazy and addicted to the newest social networking trend. Twitter, is it gone already? New idol winners… yet no one is paying any attention. The Lakers, Yankees, and Jimmie Johnson all collected another championship. Kate and Jon Split and Kanye is still a jerk. We suffered the loss of Swayze, Fawcett, Kennedy, and the King of Pop. 2009 was full of surprises and moments we will never forget, some of these events will hit some harder then others. Some of the major events may not even had played a substantial role in your life, but regardless 2009 is done and now we start a new year, a new decade, a new chapter in our lives.

2009 was a year of change and transition, a year full of laughs and tears, and a year full of growing. I feel like 2009 just flew by, although it was bittersweet at times, I think I matured more last year then any other year before this. I think the single biggest change that occurred for me last year was that I went from being a community college kid to attending one of the best Universities in California. The change from AVC to CSULB forced me to grow up a little bit more then I was expecting. I knew that going to a new school was going to be different, but I was not expecting the transition that I went through. I am not going to lie at times it was extremely difficult and I found myself asking, “Did I just make the single biggest mistake in my life by coming here?” I learned that it wasn’t a mistake, I just had to figure things out and get used to it, I believe I have and I am excited for this new year.

Spring 2009 was up and down, I had classes that I really enjoyed and others I just wouldn’t mind not showing up to ever again. I had my last semester at AVC and it was bittersweet. I had spent almost everyday with two of my best friends and come the fall semester, or quarter for them, we would no longer be at the same school. It was quite the ride guys but we did it! The three of us were some of the few to stay on track and get AVC done in two years! That is something I am very proud of. Josh, Andrew, and I had a lot of fun and I couldn’t have done it without them.

Summer came and despite being full of good times and fun nights, it was also a season of learning from my mistakes. Sometimes it takes a minute to realize you are not in the right state of mind or thinking with the right brain at all. It can be a tough situation but owning up to your mistakes and shortcomings show signs of maturity and growth. These are the times we are stretched and pushed to what we believe is our breaking point. Often times in these situations we exceed our perceptive boundaries and gain a new found understanding of ourselves, the end result is we grow up just a little bit more.

Despite all of the drama that occurred in the beginning of summer I had an awesome time living life. I was able to play basketball every week with some of my closest friends even though we only won one game because of a forfeit. It would have been nice to earn a “W” but it was still fun to be out there every week. There are just to many memories… Warped, Disneyland... the list goes on and on, regardless summer was excellent.

Before I could move to Long Beach to continue my education and personal growth there were a few goodbyes that needed to be said, the first one was to my family and friends, the second to my beloved long locks (after growing my hair out for so long it was time to cut it and I have liked the change since), the third and final goodbye was to Cold Stone Creamery (in the Antelope Valley). In a weird way it was one of the most difficult goodbyes this summer, but it had been two and a half years of my life well spent. Cold Stone became part of who I was and I learned a lot while I was there that I will always take with me, but with every ending there is always a new beginning. With that being said it was off to… The BEACH!!!

Leaving for school brought on a series of all new challenges, some of which I wasn’t expecting. I knew it was going to be different not living at home and seeing my family all the time, but it made the times I went home that much more special. I feel like sometimes we take the time we have for granted, but in reality our time is limited. This means it is necessary to make the most out of every moment we have and to live life to the fullest. As far as the academic part of school went, it was a little more difficult then AVC but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I only wish I would have applied myself a little bit more. Personally I found both of my biggest challenges involved my finances. The first was finding employment, it did eventually come but it wasn’t the fulfillment I was hoping for. I found myself discontent with the situation I was in and thought the grass was greener on the other side by going on to something else. The second financial battle I endured lasted almost the entire semester. My school loan finally cleared at the end of November until then my family and I were making all of the payments. Despite the challenges I faced I learned a lot about myself and I had my best friends and family right beside me helping me get through everything.

Looking back on my first semester and everything I went through this past year, I now can see more clearly that everything that I was confronted with was important in my personal development and is helping to shape me into the man I am supposed to be. It was a great year and thank you to everyone who was a part of my life in anyway, especially to Jesus Christ who helped me the most in getting through the year in one piece.

just another day...

2009-10-08T00:09:00.000-07:00

today was a day just like any other day, nothing out of the ordinary, just a normal day. tomorrow will most likely be similar and so will the day after that continuing on and on till its all over. what is it though that makes these days so special? how do you go from a day just like any other to being something of significance? a day to remember, one that sticks with you, that one day you look back on and say “hey that one day, man that was a good day”. what are the contributing factors to the equation? what needs to be brought to the table? looking back on all the days that i remember have one similarity in common, they all were shared with the people i care most about. the lasting memories are from the times were i experienced the most; the laughter, the tears, the frustration, all the raw emotions one can think of from a lasting memory spawn from some interaction with another human being, but most likely only someone you are close to or care about can bring out that pure emotion like no one else, which is the root cause of the lasting impression. these days are the days worth living for. what if we strived for this? to live like it was our last? to live like there was no tomorrow? to experience life at a fullness previously unknown, the freedom that you could have in that and how powerful it would be. to lay it all down and go for it, that is what i want to do, to live and never regret to live and never forget.

-the realist

In all sincerity (2/11/09)

2009-09-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

Time and time again life throws you for a wild ride. At that moment you are left with two options a) let go and walk away or b) hold on tight and roll with the punches.

AVC has been one hell of a trip, but through the past two years I have experienced so much. The good, the bad, the ugly. Experienced every thought and been through all the motions. Been down and out and gotten up from destined defeat. Yet through all of this I believe I learned the most important lesson of all, my own self discovery. Through all the hurt, the noise, the stress, everything that I went through, has brought me to where I stand today. I am still the same old Jon and as a person I haven't changed very much, but I think I finally know and understand who that person is.

Spring 2009, my final AVC semester, to my understanding getting everything done in two years doesn't happen very often so I am content with that achievment. But the AVC chapter in my life is really coming to an end come June. It is honestly a bitter sweet moment, that for a long time seemed so distant. I'm ready for the next step...not just in school, but in everything I do.

Thanks to everyone who has been apart of this. I have met so many awesome people and created quite a few lifelong friendships. Thanks especially to Andrew and Josh who have been with me every step of the way, and will definitely remain two of my best friends. My biggest thanks goes out to my family and the Lord, who knows where I would be without them. Never afraid to keep me in check and always there when I needed them most.

I'm so thankful for all the oppurtunities and blessings I have been given. It only recently has really been put into perspective. Even though I am not perfect and I am still working on certain aspects of my life. I think I have achieved what I always wanted in life, I am genuinely happy and I love where I am at.

I never set out to be the best, I only set out to do my best.

Sincerely,
The Realist

Never Take Friendship Personal (12/19/08)

2009-09-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

In retrospect if I didn't see or hear from 90% of the people I met in high school I would be the happiest person in the world. It's nothing personal and I don't hate the majority of those people, but those people have no impact on my life what so ever, if they did then I would still talk to them. This isn't a negative outlook on things but rather a realistic one. Really did we expect to be close to all our friends in high school afterwards, when we all went separate ways? That would be nearly impossible. There is a select few that I wish I still talked to more often, but other than that those people I randomly walk into at places is just another awkward situation. You know its bad when I run into people and I can't remember their name throughout the course of a conversation. It's nothing personal, we just aren't friends. I have plenty of friends as it is, I mean there is always room for more, but it isn't an easy process and it involves investing a lot of time and effort, like in any other type of relationship. Are we up to it?

Ever since 2005, the phrase "never take friendship personal" (yes this is from Anberlin) has really evolved into making a lot of sense. People will always fail because that is human nature. We should never take this personally because it happens and we all do it. But our close friends will always be there, despite any flaws, short comings and failures. Those friends are really the family we choose. When the others walk away when we are low, let them. If they mean anything or really care they will be back. If not, don't take it personal.

I miss senior year a little bit, but for different reasons then most. I am extremely grateful to have grown close to and become best friends with Andrew and Josh. But apart from high school I miss the closeness of my church friends. Looking back things happen for a reason, but I'm glad we have kind of come back together recently.

We may not be able to control situations and circumstances, but you have to play with what you are dealt. In closing, I love my friends, they are my other dysfunctional family.

-The Realist

Longing... (8/16/08)

2009-09-15T21:24:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks Olympic fever has filled the spirit of not only American culture but the culture of all participating nations on the planet Earth, which we all call home. Tonight after the Olympic broadcast ended, the late night news filled the images of my television set. Of coarse the first few minutes was highlight coverage of the Olympic events that took place, such as Phelps' obtaining his seventh gold medal. But after that a piece came on how Olympic fever has struck normal everyday people, although it was mainly showing how people are bettering their body's by working out and pushing themselves. I sat there and said to myself, i should probably do something to better myself, at least physically, because the way i eat and my lack of exercise has just left me as another American that is out of shape. I am by no means fat, but being in shape is a whole different story. I guess it boils down to I am currently in a state of longing something different then i have been doing. I don't want to remain the same, I want to grow, I want to progress, I want to push my boundaries, reach a new maturity. Looking back to my senior year (06-07) i am not the same. The shell, the general structure is the same, but i have grown into me. I have slowly found myself through a day to day experience that we have entitled "life". That fact puts a smile to my face. But there is still more that i want to achieve, more that i want to know. I want my relationship with Jesus Christ to grow without bounds, for He is my number one. Musically speaking, to create music that i am passionate about. Physically better myself, because if i were my body i would punch this Jon character in the face. Mentally keep growing keep thinking keep analyzing things. I believe i know what i am supposed to do in life and i want to start preparing myself for it, God has called me and im going to go for it and not look back. He has a weird sense of humor but He knows what He is doing. I am so hungry for something more its crazy and surpasses my own understanding. I will accomplish these things and for that i couldn't be happier. I also want to challenge everyone that reads this to evaluate yourself. Just take the ten minutes you are going to waste after this on myspace, and benefit yourself by thinking about you and what you want. You begin to discover, dream, think of things. Then one day we can talk, about anything, we can have an honest and sincere conversation, reaching a different level then most are used too. I long for that day.

carelessness something i read about (7/13/08)

2009-09-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

this world we live in is jammed pack with so much noise. day to day we are bombarded with advertisements selling everything that we "need" from sex to toothpaste to the hippest unnecessary things in the world of fashion. when we finally get a moment to breath and reflect on everything we have become, we find it rather strange and run back to our life as another consumer. buying and buying and buying, day by day. we get excited when new things come our way, why shouldn't we be after all it is newer and obviously better. society has been blindsided and lied to by clever marketing strategies and witting commercial jingles. "$5 foot-longs" come on seriously, like the masterminds behind that one didn't know it was going to be a successful attempt for people to buy more sandwich then they really needed in the first place. how is success really measured? is it a series of legitimate number calculations or a personal rating system? making money? personal accomplishment? bling and girls? your college alma-mater? i feel like screaming back at the tuff questions that the main society walks by and ignores on a daily basis.

the other day i had one of the best conversations i have had in a long time. it was filled with substance and left me wanting more. i left that table thinking, trying to process things that i never really took the time to dwell on. why did i get rejected from the places i was striving to go to make myself better? while others were accepted? i could have made it while they didn't, but i never was given the chance. did people not know what they were getting into? when they woke up and realized what it was about was it to late? why do i have to do this whole admissions process again? don't we wish we can just be care free and do what we want whenever? i don't believe this feeling ever has existed. when we think we achieve this gravity pulls us back into reality, where carelessness is a poison destined for failure. does carelessness in college equal a failed future? that is very much a reasonable assumption. once you fall it is to easy to stay down and call it quits, but it's getting back up to push on that counts. is getting back up easy? probably not. but what is easy to obtain worth obtaining at all? thinking has helped me grow up. looking back at may 2007 has shown me how much i have matured, which is something i can smile about. i am not the same, i didn't remain stagnant. success? maybe a small one? now i'm here. full of hope for the future. full of drive to get me there.

What have you been doing lately?? Yeah! Yeah! (6/30/08)

2009-09-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

So this past week has been weird, like up and down weird. The past two days have felt like a complete waste. I think we get in a stage where we are beyond lazy and the result is the day is completely unproductive and wasted. Im there and i need to find something that is fulfilling when nothing is happening. A hobby? idk. Its weird because if im out and about its no problem but just sitting doing nothing makes no sense at the moment. Maybe i need to create something? What though? hmm. Maybe learn something new? Possibly? Life is full of so many things, so many possibilities. Is this an over analysis of summer or just a slight observation of the current day? Is there more than one answer to any given question? Is there any possible way that what is concrete, proven, law in a sense, is really not as solid as we believed? Love where is it? Better yet why is everyones definition completely different? What really matters? What makes people tick or act the way they do? All are relevant questions to this existence or are they?

time to think is wasted time well spent

on the plus side i have clean windows

Christian Music (6/28/07)

2009-09-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

Alright for the past little while I have been thinking about Christian music in general and i have relized some things. First off why as Christians do we need a genre of music set apart from everything else. As Christians we set two genres "Christian" and "Secular" and the majority of Christians make it seem that we should not listen to anything but "Christian" music. This to me makes no sense at all. What is the point of "Christian" music if it is not main stream and people that listen to secular music dont listen to it. The purpose is lost, for the point of Christian music is to be a light onto the music world. How is it supposed to shine if we as Christians box everything up and label it. By putting the label of Christian on music, it can and will immediately turn people off from ever picking up a cd and listening to it. I also have realized that alot if not most Christian artists/bands are not as talented as people make them out to be, and i have found that listening to secular bands is like refreshing and wow actually really good, what a concept. Im not trying to say that all Christian music is garbage because there are awesome bands, in my opinion, in the mainstream putting out the message without "Christian" thrown all over it. Yes not all secular music is appropriate to listen to and may have negative messages, but that is everywhere in the world. But i realized Christian music is becoming very corrporate and quite boring and repetative. Album after album and artist after artist is the same with no originality behind anything. While the mainstream is becoming more broad and unique, the underground is on the rise. I just feel that Christian bands that want there sound to be heard, accapted, and loved should completly skip the mainstream contemporary Christian radio and go straight to touring with secular and Christian bands, with the same goal. For the majority of AIR 1 listeners would be turned off by a musically talented Christian band that actually did what Christian music should and was ment to do. Im not saying Christian music is bad, im just saying the lost will never here the light if we feel the need to label and judge everything. I love music and i am going to listen to what is musically good despite lyrics or message.

finally...

2009-09-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

i finally got the time to get this up and running. i should have some older stuff posted soon and hopefully some new ones too